Be kind to yourself on the way to getting old
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
I wonder if you are like me?
until the days begin again and again, suddenly looking back on the past, I find that I have been living in other people's world, meeting their expectations and catering to their praise, but I have not been kind to myself.
the years are an one-way trip that cannot be repeated. The lost time will not come back. Only when you slowly grow old and love yourself well is not a disappointment to your life.
as teacher Cai Kangyong said:
useless face, let go
Zhihu has a question like this:
there is a short and direct answer that says: "face."
for this reason, most of the time, we always exhaust our efforts for a trace of face, but we are often hurt the most by the face we care about the most.
this is the case with Lin Jianqing in the movie "later us".
in order to save face at the classmate reunion a year ago, he did not do well in Beijing at the expense of last year's final prize and money borrowed from elsewhere to buy a truckload of Beijing Roast Duck and distribute it to the students who came to the party.
I thought that such a "rich and powerful" performance would make my face shiny and enviable, but I didn't expect to hear the words exposed by my classmates at the door of the bathroom.
after painstaking and painstaking efforts, I lost not only face but also Li Zi.
Lin Jianqing, whose self-esteem was frustrated, never recovered when he returned home, and did not hesitate to yell to his father, who advised him not to pretend:
in fact, what really made Lin Jianqing feel tired was never the land that gave birth to him, but the frustration after being poked through face.
writer Yi Shu once said:
face is the hardest thing for a person to put down, and it is also the most useless thing.
the more you care about it, the heavier it becomes and the more difficult it is for you to move.
conversely, when you choose to let go of face, the road ahead becomes clear.
affected by the epidemic this year, the wages of cousin companies have been reduced, and people are out of breath because of the heavy car loans and housing loans.
my cousin, who has always been shy, decided to solicit customers on the street after work, always braving his head to solicit business when he met people standing by the side of the road.
the cousin who put down his posture and courted, not only solved all kinds of heavy loans, but also led a prosperous life, and even the seniors spoke highly of him.
what I envy my cousin most is that he won face while living inside.
Dust Heart once said:
in my opinion, no matter living for others or watching other people's lives, they will only waste themselves in the eyes of others.
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therefore, only by putting aside the face of uselessness can we live a high life without being burdened by the eyes of others.
refuse the request for embarrassment
A year ago, a primary school girl called me to help her.
it turns out that because of her senior internship, she rented a house, and a classmate often went to her place to eat and drink under the banner of a friend.
even if I don't take part in any housework, I still like to play games all night in her room. Primary school girls are used to going to bed early, often squeezing on the sofa and getting up with backache every day.
several times, the primary school girl wanted to refuse, but because of the kindness of her classmates for several years, she swallowed it on the tip of her mouth.
most of the time, we always agree to other people's requests out of kindness, and then wronge ourselves and make a mess of our lives.
as the writer Tai Zaizhi wrote in his book disqualification in the World:
my misfortune lies in my lack of the ability to refuse.
I am afraid that once I refuse others, it will leave a crack in each other's hearts that can never be healed.
little do you realize that learning to refuse is far more important than learning to accept.
in the fourth issue of Sister through the Wind and waves, Zhang Yuqi helped Li Steini reject Lan Yingying on Weibo, sparking public discussion.
each team is nervously preparing for the second public performance, but Lan Yingying is openly talking to Li Steini in the restaurant, hoping that she can teach their team to dance.
Li Stanni, who was difficult to refuse, hurriedly agreed, and when captain Zhang Yuqi heard this, she decisively rejected Lan Yingying's request with "she is not free now."
as a result, many netizens are attracted by her fans. I think she probably did something we wanted to do but didn't dare.
after all, most people fall into the plight of Li Dani, but few people have the verve of Zhang Yuqi.
think so, the public performance is just around the corner, and each team is so busy that they can't take care of themselves. How can they have the energy to help other teams?
you are not RMB, and you can't satisfy everyone. Instead of pleasing others, you should be kind to yourself.
the rest of my life is not long. Only when you learn to refuse others and please yourself can you make a trip to the world in vain.
give up the bad habit of overdrawing.
A few days ago, moments were brushed by Yang Tianzhen, a "flow broker". This time, it was not because of the outstanding performance of the artist in hand, but because she had a gastrotomy.
No one would have thought that, at the age of 35, she had been suffering from diabetes for six years.
suffered from all kinds of complications, but because he could not guarantee the routine, he had to cut the stomach to lower his blood pressure.
looking at the haggard appearance of her lying in the hospital bed, many people are lamenting that Yang Tianzhen's "reset button" was pressed late.
writer Zweig once said:
my uncle thought the same way before he fell ill. In order to earn more money, he often turned day and night upside down.
but it never occurred to him that if he overdraws his body, he will have to pay the price sooner or later.
the long hours of hard work are finally overwhelmed.After his physical examination, the words "uremia" on the examination report put an end to his half-life efforts to fail.
he has fallen ill, and now he keeps on dialysis twice a week. His life is temporarily saved, and his eyes are long gone.
both Yang Tianzhen and uncle let me really understand a truth:
you have never spared your body, and your body will not forgive you.
there are endless overtime, nights and desires, but the body has a fixed quota, which means less consumption.
therefore, there is no need to drag down the body for the sake of money, nor let the body suffer for the sake of fame and fortune.
if you are really not reconciled, you might as well go to the intensive care unit or the graveyard. It is easy to understand that you have got too much, and then greed.
an economist once explained the relationship between the body and things outside the body in this way:
for this reason, the body is the foundation of a person, it collapses at all, and no matter how beautiful it is, it won't last long;
and have a chance to win any decency.
Please be good to your health and don't let the efforts of the first half of your life be in vain.
after all, healthy body is the best koi in your life.
on the way to getting old, be kind to yourself
Roman Roland once said:
in my opinion, the best heroism is:
learn to add some sugar to yourself all the time in this world where there is more bitterness than sweet.
as Bi Shumin wrote in her book:
give up the thankless face, so that you are bound to live freely and freely;
refuse the request that makes you feel embarrassed, and you don't have to live in other people's mouths to injure yourself.
give up all kinds of bad habits of overdrawing the body. A healthy body is the greatest real estate.
Please be kind to yourself if you can't start over.
take a look at the beautiful scenery that you want to see but can't see;
try what you want to do but can't do;
take care of the things you want to cherish but can't.