I just want to hug you. I won't let you go.
Can I give you one last hug?
after the college entrance examination, I was accidentally admitted to a school far from home in the south.
my mother sent me to report to school on the first day of school. She helped me make my bed and the room was ready to go. I grabbed her by the sleeve and began to cry. I swung my nose and said, "Mom, don't go, stay with me a little longer."
and then my mom really stopped leaving. She took me downstairs to the canteen to accompany me to eat a bowl of 8 yuan instant noodles. After eating, she said, "shall I go?" I began to wail again. Finally, when I cried until I had no tears, my mother scolded me and said, "you idiot, if you want to come back and take a plane at any time, I will give you a ticket." Pretend to cry a fart, how old a person is. "
so I sniffed, stopped crying, loosened my mother's sleeves and let her go.
after separation, I am not as homesick as I thought, but whenever I see that kind of eight-yuan instant noodles in the supermarket, I especially want to cry.
so I never ate that instant noodle again.
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my friend told me that when she came to school to report, she was sent by her parents together. She was supposed to say goodbye under the dormitory, but she reluctantly sent her parents to the subway station, then got on the subway and finally went all the way to Central, where she changed trains. She sent it to a place where it could no longer be sent, then slowly let go of her hand and cried herself back to the dormitory.
she said that every time I took the subway to Central and saw the separate corner, I could always feel that the sniveling little girl got into her body again that day.
it seems that everyone likes to cry when they say goodbye.
at the graduation ceremony of high school, the boys who had been in love for three years hugged and took pictures with the whole class one by one. And I happened to miss it because I left early. Later he said to me himself, "my biggest regret is that I couldn't hug you before you left. I was looking for you that day."
then I gradually lost touch with that boy. People always ask me, is it a pity that you are not together?
of course I feel sorry, not because he is not together, but because he still owes me a hug that I can't achieve and will continue to do so. I failed to say goodbye to him, to my high school days, to the person I had a crush on him for three years. I just dragged my suitcase and hurriedly left the past and came to a new place.
in fact, it doesn't matter that we are separated. It's just that you can't owe me anything. It makes me think of you in my heart, and makes me think to the traffic outside every day, "could it be that you came to me to return my things?"
so I got into the habit of hugging you when I said goodbye.
I am always afraid to take my friends to the station, to come to the airport departure hall, to see the dust billowing away after closing the car door, and to see someone deliberately turn his head and wave goodbye to me from the back window of the car. I always like to watch, and I like to follow you one more way before you leave me; I don't like to say goodbye, and I don't like you to say some official polite words to alienate us before we part. And I don't like you to say unofficial truths to make me cry.
but I was accidentally admitted to a university thousands of miles away, so I had to try to bid farewell to my family freely and easily; the background of an international school made me have to accept countless times of parting from my friends in various forms; I especially hated parting, but I really wanted to be on the road and meet different scenery and different people, so I had to learn to pass by safely.
in May, seniors and seniors wearing doctoral costumes and taking graduation photos are often seen in the school. The lovers hugged and their girlfriends held each other arm in arm. They threw their hats high and said goodbye loudly. I think about my three years of junior high school, the three years of my senior high school, and the three years of college that I am about to spend. It seems that every time I graduate with tears, every time tears are accompanied by a distant reunion.
I think that if I had known that every farewell was the last time I met, I would have said goodbye harder.
recently I was traveling in Thailand with three or five friends. I had to leave the team because I had to return home early because of temporary business. I told them a day before I left, "Don't laugh at me if you see me crying tomorrow."
after parting with them the next day, I posted a circle of friends-reunion is like a hangover. I hope I won't wake up drunk.
and when I wake up drunk, I am sure to cry.
I teach English to first-graders in Chiang Mai this holiday. The last day I left, Som and Loonton in the class rushed over, hugged my legs and took a picture with me, each giving me a wet kiss. Another boy who especially likes to tease me lingers on me obediently.
after I walked out of the classroom, they all ran out and hugged me again and again. We said goodbye countless times, and I really began not to want to leave. Every time I took a step further, they hugged me further. Finally I sat in the car and saw their reluctant eyes.
I think children are really brave. They hold you if they like you, and they won't let you go if they don't want to let you go.
adults can't do that.
if you want to leave me, I can't hold you like my mother's sleeve or coquettish you like children hug me. Because not everyone can clap my hands and say no just because of my sudden tears, and sit down to accompany me to eat a bowl of Dongyingong-flavored ramen; in most cases, the children hug me hard. I still hitchhike away even if I can't bear it.
I don't know if I'll see you again this time; I don't know if I can get on the plane in time to get back to you; I don't know if you don't want to leave you like me.I am also reluctant to leave me; I don't know if you really see my sudden tears and hear me say please don't go, will you really sit down and wait for me to cry.
if I am destined to part, do I make it more painful or less painful when I make it so long?
I don't know.
all I know is that we will be separated; knowing that even if I send you one after another, I will reach the farther intersection where I can't send you. I also know that after saying goodbye to you, I will definitely get to know the new people and know that we can live a good life without each other.
so I didn't let you go, and I never asked you to stay with me for a long time. When I separate, I don't want to say no, don't send each other long and short, I want to hug you gently.
because you deserve a grand goodbye from me.