Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
on the weekend, I took the children to play in the playground, and at the entrance to the slide lay a little boy who was in a bad mood with his mother.
A little girl next to her wanted to go over and saw that he was in the way, so she hit the boy when she went up.
the hand fell on the boy's chest. The girl was young and the strength was not great. The little boy was a little confused and sat up at once.
when the boy's mother saw this, she immediately yelled at him: you hit her, she hit you, won't you call back! You are a man, don't embarrass me!
originally the little boy didn't feel it. When his mother yelled at him, his little face turned red and began to cry hoarse.
when he went to his mother crying, the mother was still talking about the boy: cowardly, he wouldn't listen, and he would be bullied wherever he went.
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the girl was dragged by her mother to apologize, but the boy's mother ignored it and yelled at her son.
parents can't watch any more. Someone whispers, "hug him, he's already aggrieved."
the little boy was not only aggrieved physically, but also had nowhere to talk psychologically, so his emotions were naturally suppressed in his heart and could only be vented with unstoppable tears.
watching this scene, I suddenly feel distressed.
feel sorry for the child who was wronged and helpless after being yelled at, and the mother who knew nothing about her child's grievance.
parents' temper will do great harm to their children.
the three most useless methods of education in the world are: being reasonable, losing your temper, and deliberately moving.
especially parents lose their temper and reason with their children.
as soon as you begin to question and preach, the child will realize that you do not understand TA, and will form psychological resistance and become more hysterical.
American linguist Alberta Meribin put forward a famous communication formula:
the total effect of communication = 7% language + 38% tone + 55% facial expression.
from this formula, we can see that tone accounts for a large proportion, which will affect the effect of communication.
and more important are non-verbal information, such as changes in facial expressions and body language.
and hugging is the most direct way for children to be cared for and comforted by others.
as Sun Li once wrote on Weibo:
when a child has feelings of discontent, anger and sadness, all he needs is a hug from you.
Don't preach, understand him from his point of view, support him, encourage him, and talk about the big things when they are in a good mood.
her picture shows the child clinging to her shoulder and lying in her arms. I believe she will soon calm down. When the mother finds the right time to be reasonable, she will be willing to communicate.
sometimes, I can't help losing my temper with my daughter, maybe saying, "what's the matter with you?" She would cry with grievance.
when I realized that I was not speaking properly and quickly opened my arms and approached her, she would immediately jump into my arms and explain to me what she had done before. if she was wrong, she would soon apologize.
on the way to parenting, most people improvise, as many mothers say, you can't do it without yelling.
Yes, you're not fighting alone. Most parents yell at their children sometimes.
an organization has conducted a survey. Data show that
more than 89% of parents across the country yell at their children in the process of educating their children. The younger the parents are, the more likely they are to yell at their children.
in the past two years, 150 pairs of parents in Chengdu signed in in the "ring howling group", and none of them succeeded in the end, no matter what career they were engaged in, no matter whether they had one treasure or two treasures at home.
many parents say that every time they yell at their children and look at them, they regret and feel guilty. But when the next anger strikes, I still can't contain it.
so, yell at the child-- regret and guilt-- yell at the child again and again, over and over again.
parents are getting angrier and angrier and their children are getting farther and farther away from you.
there is a little boy in the neighbor's house who is yelled at by his parents all day because of his poor grades.
every time I see him, he looks timidly at people. Once when he was scolded by his family, he almost ran away from home. In his composition, he compared his angry father to a "monster".