Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
Uncle Fan went back to his hometown some time ago and found a strange thing.
I have a little nephew who is usually a good talker and is a pistachio to the whole family.
somehow, every time his father appeared, the little nephew became particularly timid.
relatives all said, "this kid is afraid of his father, his father can shock him," but Uncle Fan looked carefully and found that this was not the case.
one time when the family was eating at a table, the little nephew was eating delicious with a chicken leg in his arms. Suddenly his father came and said:
all of a sudden, the whole table was staring at the little nephew, and the relatives roared with laughter. "Honey, is this chicken leg really that delicious?"
the little nephew, obviously not expecting such a scene, stopped his chopsticks and buried his head blankly and shamefully.
later, after dinner, the little nephew helped clear the table, and his father said again:
the little nephew stopped awkwardly, and his father turned to talk and laugh with others as if nothing had happened.
only I noticed that the little nephew had red eyes and seemed to be trying to put up with something.
Uncle Fan recalled that there were many such parents around them. Although they loved their children, they were never polite and sarcastic about their children from time to time, even if they had done nothing wrong.
in their eyes, this is a way to push children;
but in Uncle Fan's eyes, this is more serious than beating and scolding children.
percussion education alienates the relationship between parents and children
I remember watching a variety show before, the main character is Yang Shuo and the child, almost all of which is the father's suppression and mockery of the child.
the most impressive scene was a chat between Yang Shuo and his son Yang Yuchen, when they were driving on the prairie and the conversation was as follows:
"what means of transportation do you use on the prairie?" "have you learned?"
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"didn't you learn? What are the Mongols best at? "
then Yang Shuo's reaction surprised me. First he smiled contemptuously, and then he said:
at that time, the subtitle of the program was:
this kid can't remember anything.
then Yang Shuo shook his head again and again, so that Yang Yuchen didn't know what to do, obviously feeling that he had said the wrong thing.
Please? I'm just in primary school, isn't it normal not to learn?
in fact, it is inevitable for children to make mistakes, and when Yang Shuo faces his children's mistakes, he mocks, shakes his head, criticizes him, and sends Yang Yuchen a negative signal that "you are bad and funny again."
in the long run, not only will children become more and more estranged from their parents, but they will also have less and less self-confidence.
the harm caused by verbal violence is far beyond imagination.
I have seen a video before. The Shenyang Institute of Psychology interviewed six juvenile criminals in the detention center and told their own experiences.
some of them shoot people, some chop people with axes, and some stab people with fruit knives. These ferocious and violent acts have something to do with the mental violence they suffered in their childhood.
some mothers abuse their children's "pig brains" all day after their parents are divorced;
some parents scold "why not die"; and
some parents never praise their children. but that the child is useless and useless.
in fact, many parents have said the following words to their children, but they do not realize how much harm they do to their children--
the test results are not satisfactory, and they do not help their children to correct their mistakes. instead, they said, "if the exam is so bad, you might as well not support you at all."
(this will make the child feel that he is about to be abandoned at any time and increase his sense of insecurity. )
there is no way to compare with others in the exam. Parents call their child "shameful" and compare him with other people's children.
(this will make the child feel useless and lack of self-confidence. )
the child went to ask a question and was called an "idiot".
(this makes them reluctant to communicate with adults and choose to run away from things. )
and what are the consequences of long-term verbal violence?
maybe just like those six juvenile delinquents, they were extremely depressed and distorted and committed atrocities at a young age.
although their crimes are unforgivable, the deeper reasons deserve every parent's vigilance.
maybe in your opinion, a word "trash" and "pig brain" is nothing, but the lethality to children is inestimable.
you don't know which one of your words set off a tsunami in his heart.
there is Longquan on the tongue, killing people without blood.
Children's hearts are fragile and immature. A negative word, a contemptuous look and a sarcastic sneer will make them lose their way and lose themselves.
while a gentle encouragement, a comforting hug and a warm smile from parents can bring inestimable energy to their children.
from now on, I hope that every parent can do this:
stop criticizing their children's mistakes, but correct them with him;
stop humiliating and scolding their children at will, but talk calmly;
no longer transfer their bad temper to their children, but nourish them with love and tenderness.
I believe that children who are taken such good care of will eventually become your pride!