Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
perhaps, we have all had this experience:
once good friends gradually become estranged and no longer connected;
people who used to be very close, their feelings fade a little, and gradually disappear into each other's lives.
it is said that no relationship disappears for no reason. Therefore, whether husband and wife or lovers, feelings, in fact, are diluted in this way.
A person who does not ask and does not say
thinks that the other person will speak; those who do not say will think that the other person will understand.
but even people who are familiar with each other will never know what they are thinking if they don't communicate.
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A lot of people just drift away without asking or telling, and finally become dispensable to each other.
in the TV series Thirty, Zhong Xiaoqin and Chen Yu divorced not because they didn't love each other, but because of communication problems.
like all girls, Zhong Xiaoqin wants to be cared for by her husband, talk to her husband, and be loved in this marriage.
but the way Chen Yu expresses his love makes people feel powerless.
obviously care a lot, but show a kind of indifferent appearance, obviously do a lot for each other but never say, even if misunderstood never explain.
this kind of silence also deepened Zhong Xiaoqin's misunderstanding of Chen Yu. in the end, she was disappointed and filed for divorce.
in Lenovo life, how many people mistakenly think that the other person should be able to see their own efforts, they should be uncomfortable, and the other person should be able to understand, so they should not say anything, but the result is that these "hesitation" have caused endless misunderstandings. You think the other person knows, but not necessarily.
if one does not ask, one does not say, again familiar with the person, will gradually lose the common language, no matter how deep feelings, will gradually can not find the fulcrum, leaving only conjecture, doubt flooding.
in feelings, what I fear most is not willing to communicate and bury all the words in my heart.
the way adults alienate begins with silence.
if you want to maintain a relationship, don't be stingy with your words. Only by communicating with each other can you get to know each other better.
one refuses to yield and the other refuses to give in
in the Happiness Trio, Jiang Qinqin and Chen Jianbin discuss "what is happiness".
Jiang Qinqin said:
just like when she quarreled with Chen Jianbin, she would be angrily cried and laughed. They stumble and quarrel, but after the quarrel, they will be considerate of others and tolerate each other, so they can make up soon.
on the contrary, in reality, there is a relationship in which neither of them is willing to give in, neither is willing to give in, and is always expressing his own opinions and unwilling to listen to each other's ideas.
always think that you are right, criticize constantly, and never admit defeat.
on the surface, it seems that he has won this silent game, but the relationship between the two people is slowly fading from one who refuses to give in and the other who refuses to give in.
in fact, if you don't know how to make concessions, it won't do you any good to others or yourself. if you blindly stalemate, you can only lose both sides, and eventually cause the two people to drift apart.
the relationship between people is not a battle to conquer and be conquered, but to accommodate and tolerate each other.
as Fan Deng said:
A well-intentioned compromise can turn swords into friendship, and knowing that concessions are never a sign of cowardice.
but to actively maintain the relationship with each other with your own well-intentioned compromise, which is the beginning of every happy moment.
after all, tit-for-tat can not be exchanged for you and me, and only by making proper compromises and concessions can we get a harmonious atmosphere.
one is too sensible, the other does not cherish
remember last year, the article Ma Yili announced his divorce, netizens were shocked, but they all felt sorry for Ma Yili, who was sensible.
in 2013, when Ma Yili was pregnant with her second child for the article, the article was revealed to have an affair. At that time, under the pressure of public opinion, the article issued a long apology, saying that he "deserved the blame and would like to live up to others in the future."
Ma Yili responded: "although love is easy, marriage is not easy, and you can do it and cherish it."
many netizens think that Ma Yili should not forgive the article so easily.
in the years after that, the couple often appeared in the public eye with happiness. It would have been worth it if the sensible Ma Yili's original forgiveness could have been so happy for the rest of her life. However, six years later, they finally reached the end of their marriage.
Today's Ma Yili still seems so sensible. She said:
but the facts have proved that one person's wishful thinking and one person's sensibility really cannot save the relationship between two people.
in reality, I am most afraid of such a relationship. A person cares too much, so he gives in and makes concessions again and again, and a person does not cherish it, so he takes it for granted and keeps asking for it.
feelings change slowly when one is too sensible and the other does not cherish.
in front of the person you care about, compromise is not terrible, change is not terrible, and it is not terrible to let go of what you insist on. The terrible thing is that everything has been done, but the other party has not felt it. Compromise has become natural, concession and natural.
anyone can be kind to someone endlessly, but only if it is worth it; anyone can love someone for no reason, but only if they are loved.
the rest of life is not that long, do not blindly pay, to get used to people who make progress by an inch.
Don't worry about gain or loss, don't be afraid of falling out, and don't get used to anyone. A good relationship is to be grateful and cherish each other. We often say that human hearts grow in flesh and are always mutual.
so, for the rest of our life, may we know how to cherish it with all our heart, not to owe any enthusiasm, to live up to any sincerity, and to resist the long years with love.