Prosperity is kind to others, adversity is kind to yourself

Qian Zhongshu once said: "when you are in power, treat others as a person and tell yourself what you should not do; when you lose power, treat yourself as a person and remind you that you will do something in the end."

in this life, people often encounter ups and downs.

A person's maturity lies not in what he has experienced, but in his attitude towards different experiences.

those who are really wise know how to be kind to others in prosperity and to themselves in adversity.

01

being kind to others in good times is the pattern

Su Xing once explained the origin of the name "Su Shi" in Ming Erzi.

Wheels, spokes, axles and so on are indispensable for a car.

by contrast, the handrail of Che Shi overlooking the scenery for passengers appears to be dispensable.

Su warned his son that he should know how to keep a low profile and modesty, and never think highly of himself.

in 1057 AD, Su Shi was twenty years old, embroidered with a spit, stunning half of the Song Dynasty.

A few lines of "on the loyalty of punishment and reward" made Ouyang Xiu sweat when he exclaimed to the emperor, "(Li) Bai has the talent of (Su) Shi, but there is no Shi's study."

once Jinshi became a famous teacher, Su Shi gradually put his father's teachings behind him.

when he was an official in Fengxiang, Tai Shou Chen Xiliang was highly respected and was of the same generation as his grandfather.

Su Shi thought that Chen Xiliang was in vain, and every time Chen Xiliang invited his subordinates to a banquet, he refused to go.

once, Chen Xiliang renovated Ling Xutai.

in the name of the inscription, Su Shi is full of sarcasm: "Taiwan is not enough to rely on it for a long time, but not because of the loss of personnel?"

means that it is difficult for Ling Hsiu-tai to last long, not to mention the fame and status of the people who build it.

when Su Shi finished writing, he proudly threw away his pen, only that Chen Xiliang would be furious when he saw this article.

who knows that Chen Xiliang not only did not care, but also engraved the article on Ling Xutai and did not change a word.

later, Su Shi was repeatedly trapped because he was in the limelight. Thinking of Chen Xiliang, who had passed away, Su Shi lamented that he was "young and vigorous, foolish and not more important, and regretted it because of color."

half of his life was prosperous, and once the water was flowing, Su Shi woke up.

since then, the world has lost a brilliant talent and a gentle and humble gentleman.

he asked Huang Tingjian, who is nine years younger than himself, for calligraphy, and respectfully noted "Xiaoshan Valley body" while composing poems.

student Zhang Jie changed a word in his article. He was not angry, and he thanked him again and again, respecting each other as a "teacher of one word".

in this life, kindness is based on knowledge, and arrogance comes from shallowness.

A person who has seen heaven and earth and knows his own smallness knows how to keep a low profile no matter in front of anyone.

the more shallow a person is, the more likely he is to be blinded by temporary clouds and think that no one in the world is second to none.

in the Tang Dynasty, Xiao Yingshi was the first 18-year-old Kao Jinshi, who often carried a pot of wine and drank alone in the suburbs.

once in a torrential rain, Xiao Yingshi saw an old man taking shelter under a tree, looking very embarrassed, so he made rude remarks to him.

A moment later, it was windy and rainy, and a large number of carriages and horses came and left with clusters of old people.

Xiao Yingshi hurriedly inquired about the left and right sides and found that the old man he despised was Wang Qiu of Shangshu, the official department of the current dynasty.

Wang Qiu called him to him and said to him, "if you rely on your talent and have been so arrogant, you can only be a Jinshi in this life."

Xiao Yingshi was so ashamed that he changed his arrogant temperament and finally became a generation of "Xiao Fu Zi" in the name of erudition and humility.

Su Shi once said, "there is no true ancient well, but a section is Qiuyun."

A person with real pattern and connotation has no waves and no publicity.

like water, they choose to stand high and walk low, and finally build a life as wide as the sea.

it is impossible for people to go uphill all the time, be kind to others in good times, and in the end it is themselves who will succeed.

02

to be kind to yourself in adversity is to practice

in 1079 AD, a "Wutai Poetry case", which reduced the high-spirited Su University to a Dongpo Buddhist scholar wearing Yuehe hoe.

after 103 days in prison, Su Shi was demoted to Huangzhou and monitored.

he divided the few copper coins into thirty strings and hung them under the eaves, stipulating that he could only take one string a day.

compared with material hardship, the greater blow comes from mental suffering.

in his poem, he wrote: "I have been relegated to Huanggang for four or five years. If the old friend does not reopen the inquiry, he will die of disease, hunger, cold and suspicion. "

once there was a busy house, but now my relatives and friends wander around the rivers and lakes, so I don't send a word, I have nothing to go, I don't think I have a place to go.

in the face of the sudden gap, ordinary people are afraid to cry for a long time, but Su Shi regards adversity as spiritual practice and tries to live a poetic life of frustration.

having no income, he opened up wasteland, supported himself, mingled with labourers and enjoyed himself among the shallow smoke and willows.

when he was demoted to Huizhou, the mutton in the city was bought by local dignitaries, and Su Shi picked up the leftover sheep bones from others. The meat crumbs removed from the cracks in the bones were also eaten by him to taste like crab meat.

when he was living in Hainan in his twenties, Su Shi said in a letter to his friends that he had no meat to eat and no books to read. "it is better than copying one of the books of the Tang Dynasty and borrowing the former Han Dynasty," Su Shi said in a letter to his friends. "if you have these two books, you will be rich and poor."

if you have no books to read, you can enjoy yourself by copying two books.

Su Shi wrote a poem in his later years: "ask your achievements in your life, Huizhou, Huizhou and Danzhou."

looking back on his life, what he most wants to tell people is not the glory of the capital, but the years when he was wandering.

he spent half his life frustratedKnead into the sea of officials, salvage a lifetime of talent and broad-minded.

as the old saying goes: what you lose is what you gain.

Life will not be plain sailing, and there will be no eternal adversity.

when feeling sad, it not only doesn't help, but also misses the willow and flowers that should have been in the grievance that should have been.

"Hugh misses his hometown for his old friends, and tries new tea with new fire." Poetry and wine take advantage of the years. "

cherish the present and be kind to yourself before you understand that fate has other plans.

I always remember Lieutenant Taylor in Forrest Gump.

he was born into a military family and dreamed of becoming a general with meritorious service.

but in a battle, his legs were blown off. Not only did his military career come to an early end, but his lifelong ideal also came to naught.

he is depressed and is willing to fall into the nightclub in a wheelchair every day.

until once, he went fishing with his friends and ran into an once-in-a-century typhoon.

Tyler, feeling doomed to death, climbed up the mast in spite of the storm and angrily questioned why God had treated him like this.

but after the rain cleared up, the sea calmed down again, and Taylor found herself miraculously alive.

all the fishing boats along the coast were destroyed by the hurricane, and only his ship was far away from the coast and became the only surviving ship.

A series of coincidences made him understand: "fate is sometimes ruthless and sometimes generous." Once fate is ruthless, he will give himself up. How can he appreciate the generous side of fate? "

he began to accept the imperfections of his life and tried to run his own fishing boat.

because he had no competitors, he soon earned his first bucket of gold, and then he expanded his business and set up his own fishing company.

in just a few years, he became a millionaire and replaced himself with state-of-the-art artificial limbs.

standing in front of his friends again, he became cheerful and optimistic, not at all the depressed wounded soldier of that year.

Su Shi's student Kui Duanli wrote a sentence: "expected to be overnight, the clear light has not diminished, and the cloudy and sunny weather is known again?"

there is a bright moon every night, but it is unpredictable. How do you know when there will be clouds?

only by keeping the clouds open can we know that the clear light has not diminished, and the coming year will be endless.

Life is the same. Joys and sorrows are often staged together.

Don't cry about the injustice of fate, just adjust your mindset and tell yourself that when the darkness comes to the extreme, there will be light blooming.

learn to be kind to yourself. Every adversity is a spiritual practice, which allows you to greet the arrival of prosperity with a better posture.

03

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Lin Yutang once said: "Su Shi's greatest charm is not to let his heart be swallowed by the environment, but to go beyond the environment and illuminate the road of life with inner light."

with a normal mind, waiting for nothing, abiding by the goodness of heart, and accepting the imperfections of life, can we cultivate the detachment of "this peace of mind is my hometown".

as said in "Young Learning from Qionglin": "if you are alone, you will not be born; if you are alone, you will not be born; if you are alone, you will not grow long."

whether it is prosperity or adversity, it is an inevitable experience. What matters is not the situation, but the state of mind.

in good times, be kind to others, see your own shortcomings before the good situation, and look down at the road before you can go far.

be kind to yourself in adversity, believing that hardship will eventually come back and nourish yourself.