Good morning, accompany you to read.
I have heard a saying: "in the final analysis, a child's character and ability are influenced by his family and parents."
if you think about it, it is true.
every child initially connects with the world through his parents.
every word and deed of parents will inevitably have an impact on their later life.
just as psychologist Wu Zhihong said: parents are the greatest fate of children!
because whether children become talented and happy in the future has a lot to do with the pattern and temperament of their parents.
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the pattern of the father determines the height of the child's life
the famous psychologist Spencer once said: "the father is the guide to the outside world."
I think so.
the future of the child depends on the father's vision and pattern lift.
the height of the child's life depends on the pattern of the father.
since the media author @ Summer, he once told the story of the neighbor Uncle Mo's three daughters:
Uncle Mo originally had three daughters, but because his brother had no children, he passed the younger daughter to his brother's name.
Uncle Mo graduated from high school and runs a grain and oil store, so the whole family has nothing to eat and drink.
in his opinion, it doesn't matter whether the child reads or not. At the worst, he can run a small shop like him and make a living.
and his brother is a college student. Although he doesn't earn much, he attaches great importance to his children's education.
on weekdays, my brother will read with his children in the morning and guide them to read all kinds of books.
my brother pays more attention to the inner cultivation of his children than his grades.
during the holidays, my brother and sister-in-law will take their children to various meaningful activities to increase their experience and horizons.
16 years have passed, and the lives of the three sisters are very different.
the two daughters who stayed with Uncle Mo, one dropped out of high school and the other went to college.
later, he married early and had children, following the living method of his parents.
on the contrary, the little girl who passed on to her brother was not only admitted to a famous university, but also became a famous photographer, living the life envied by her two sisters.
the same child lives with a different father and has a different life.
it can be seen that the father's vision and pattern determine the height to which the child can reach to a great extent.
writer Huang Jingjie once explained the best form of family education: raising people with a wide field of vision rather than raising children with a small vision.
the pattern of fathers is more like the starting line of a child's life.
the larger the father's pattern, the higher the child's starting point, the higher the upper limit, and the more opportunities he will get.
and a father with a big pattern is often the greatest blessing in a child's life!
because the father's vision is the child's world.
if the father has a gully in his chest, the child's life can see the sky.
the mother's temper hides her child's safety
sees a post on the Internet:
the blogger is a girl who has very low self-esteem and does not have sense of security.
it was none other than her mother who caused her pain.
my mother has a bad temper and often loses her temper at her because of trifles.
when she accidentally broke the bowl while washing the dishes, her mother would yell at her angrily, "I can't do anything well. I did something bad in my last life to give birth to you."
my mother is strong, but she misses her promotion because she is pregnant with her, so she always scolds her in a resentful tone: "if I hadn't given birth to you, I wouldn't have been like this."
there are many such things.
Mother's bad temper gradually became a lingering nightmare.
she began to become cowardly, self-abased, disapproving of herself, and full of guilt.
she yearns for intimate relationships and has met people she likes, but because of her inner inferiority complex and the extreme lack of sense of security, she does not have the courage to fall in love and is still alone.
I can feel her pain through the words.
while feeling distressed, I have to admit that the harm caused by the mother's bad temper to the child is permanent.
many people are difficult to cure all their lives and carry heavy loads in asphyxiation all their lives.
writer Wu Zhihong once said: "mothers have a great influence on their children, especially emotional influence, which will accompany them for a lifetime."
in many cases, the temperament of the mother determines the establishment or destruction of the child's sense of security.
A mother is grumpy, which only deepens her child's inner unease and fear, causing her to repeat bad intimacy over and over again.
conversely, a mother is gentle enough to make her child feel loved and more likely to grow into a warm person.
the lucky man cures his whole life with his childhood, and the unfortunate man his whole life with his childhood.
never underestimate the destructive power of emotions. A mother's emotional catharsis sometimes takes her child a lifetime as a price.
the influence of a mother's temperament on her child is engraved in her character and imprinted in her soul, which determines her child's life.
to educate children, they might as well learn to stabilize their temperament, replace blame with acceptance, replace roar with tolerance, and express their emotions calmly.
only when a mother learns to control her temper and communicate peacefully with her child can she raise a happy child.
the best family: father big pattern, mother good temper
Zhihu, someone asked such a questionAre parents really the number one fate of their children?
the netizen @ empty tells his own experience below, which makes me particularly moved.
born into a family that is not well-off, the family has been farming for generations.
different from the patriarchal preference of others around him, the father is very far-sighted and does not want his children to suffer from the hardships of life, so he cultivates the children of the family equally.
when the farmer is busy, many students are called home to help, and there are always few students in the classroom.
but no matter how busy she is, her father has never missed a lesson.
at the insistence of my father, he was vainly willing to go to college, broadened his horizons and made excellent friends.
completely got rid of the fate of farming and realized the leap of three generations.
in fact, her happiness benefits not only from her father's pattern, but also from her mother's imperceptible influence.
Mother is gentle and good-natured, and has never had a quarrel with her neighbors.
they are more tolerant and kind to their children. When they make mistakes, they never beat and scold them, and always endure a little bit of guidance.
the mother's unconditional love and tolerance not only gave the empty sense of security, but also deeply affected her character.
the emptiness when I grow up inherits my mother's patience and tenderness.
it is this good temper that has become the glue of her marriage and parent-child relationship, creating a beautiful and warm family for her.
finally, she said that she owes all her achievements and happiness to her parents.
if it were not for her father's general pattern, she might, like most girls in the village, marry hastily and have children and muddle through her life;
if it were not for her mother's good temper, she would probably become grumpy and break her head in intimacy.
after reading this answer, I deeply understood the sentence: the best education is to fight father and mother.
it's not about the parents' money, but about the parents' pattern and temperament.
the bigger the father's pattern, the bigger and better the child sees the world;
the better the mother's temper, the softer and richer the child's heart.
the father's pattern is a lighthouse, the bigger the pattern, the farther the child goes; the mother's temperament is a harbor, the better the temper, the more stable the child walks.
the father has a big pattern and the mother has a good temper, which is the best feng shui for the family.
there is a line in the family education film Mirror that goes like this:
"every child is born with a blank sheet of paper, and the parents are the painters. How the blank paper becomes depends on the parents."
this is true. Whether a child's life is happy or sad lies in his parents.
parents' vision and temperament directly determine what kind of life their children will live.
parents have a big pattern and a gentle temper, and the child has a happy life, on the contrary, the child has a tragic life.
May every parent continue to increase their knowledge, control their temper, and be the patron saint and ferry man of their children!
May every child be treated gently!