Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
there are some people in our lives who will always make you feel powerless that "a scholar meets a soldier".
you tell him about hard work, he tells you about origin; you tell him about strength, he talks to you about luck.
if you talk to him about feelings, he will reason with you; you tell him the facts, and he will talk to you about an example.
this is what we commonly call leverage.
argue with the bar, nine out of ten lose.
it's not that you can't argue.
instead, when two people have different cognitive levels, the information they communicate is not on the same channel.
I'll tell you three short stories.
in a slum in Africa, a policeman killed a mad dog.
the eyewitness told this to a local resident.
"the policeman was killed."
as soon as the witness spoke the first half of the sentence, the man interrupted him and asked, "did the police kill someone?" Who gave them the power? Can the police do whatever they want? "
the witness continued: "it was a dog who was killed."
the man rebuked angrily, "what happened to the dog?" Isn't the dog life? If a living life disappears, is there no one responsible for it? "
the witness hastened to explain: "that is a mad dog."
the man is still adamant: "is it up to you to judge whether or not mad dog?" Has it been identified? Is the identification procedure legal? Isn't there any other shady scene here? "
the voice of the witness is getting louder and louder: "it was chasing passers-by and biting. I saw it with my own eyes, and no one provoked it!"
the man is still not to be outdone: "is it true when you see it?" Don't you think it's strange? Is there still a lack of shadows in this country? "
at last, the witness was speechless and had to turn around and leave.
the man was smug and was about to leave when he accidentally stepped on the tail of a wild dog sleeping by the side of the road.
in a panic, the dingo got up and bit him.
as he endured the pain, he shouted: "whose mad dog bites people, no one will take care of it?" What on earth is wrong with this society? "
an old professor was walking along the road with his students, planning to buy a fish by the way.
the professor stayed in front of the stall, picked it over and over again, and chose a Qingjiang fish with fewer fish bones.
the fishmonger saw it and said, "you can't see. This kind of fish is not delicious. Would you like another one?"
the old professor smiled and replied, "No, just this one."
the fishmonger mocked: "you scholars, after knowing a few big words and reading a few books, you feel that you know everything. You can buy fish, and you have to listen to me."
the students on one side could not bear to watch, so they went up to argue with it. Both sides were not convinced, and the quarrel became louder and louder.
the professor hastened to pull the students away.
the student asked inexplicably, "aren't you angry that the fishmonger humiliated our scholar?"
the professor smiled and said, "I can understand him." As long as he knows which fish are delicious, he doesn't have to understand how many kinds of fish there are in the world and which fish have fewer bones, which is more suitable for the elderly. "
the third story takes place in a famous French painter.
when painters are on holiday in Switzerland, they often walk around sketching with their drawing boards on their backs.
You are in the right place with our mermaid wedding dresses with sleeves when searching for something to make you look stunning. The confidence that you inspire will amaze you.
one day, when he was on the edge of Lake Geneva and had just included the beautiful scenery on both sides of the strait in his painting, three female tourists came next to him.
as they walked, they talked and complained to the beauty around them: "this place is not as beautiful as I thought."... "
the sound approached, and when they passed the painter, they began to tell him what to do.
"it's not well drawn here, it's obviously a very straight tree, and you draw so crooked;
the color is not right there, and you don't draw blue at all in such a blue sky;
there are some things you haven't painted at all, you see, there are a few people left out there."
the painter did not retort, kept smiling all the time, and slightly modified his paintings according to their suggestions.
the next day, he went to another place for sketching and met the three ladies again.
the ladies asked him, "Sir, we heard that the great painter Belloni is in Switzerland and would like to visit him. Do you know where he lives?"
the painter bowed slightly and said politely, "No, I am Beloni."
Why tell these three stories?
because I have found that a person's attitude towards questioning depends on his cognitive level.
people with low cognitive level always like to fight for the outcome on the tongue and retort subconsciously.
people with high cognitive level stand high, see far, and can tolerate and absorb different voices.
the writer Mr. Murdo divides cognition into three levels.
the first layer, unitary thinking cognition.
people with low cognition are single-line thinking, often self-centered, unable to be compatible with the ideas of the outside world, and follow the same path to the end.
like the sprinklers in the first story, they are keyboard warriors on the Internet and levers in their lives. No matter what you say, their first reaction is to argue.
people at this cognitive level are mostly self-righteous, stubborn, and like to show their sense of existence and superiority by raising the bar.
even if it is an established fact, they will speak eloquently to win a verbal victory.
there is a psychological term called "tempering effect", which refers to when a person encounters facts andWhen one's own cognition is contrary to each other, he often refuses to accept this fact and strengthens to stick to his original position.
the second layer, dualistic thinking cognition.
people with dual thinking cognition have the basic ability to distinguish things, reason and empathy, and can think from each other's point of view.
like the old professor in the second story.
the fishmonger makes sarcastic remarks. Instead, he thinks about the problem from the standpoint of others and understands everyone's limitations.
people with dual thinking cognition can often look at problems dialectically when they hear different voices.
they never waste time on meaningless excuses, and they will be tolerant and respectful to others even if they disagree with them.
the third layer, multiple thinking cognition.
people with multiple thinking cognition have their own "filtration and purification system".
just like the painter Beloni in the third story, faced with the amateur advice of the three women, instead of being proud of his profession, he humbly listened to their opinions.
people with multiple thinking cognition can not only be compatible with different viewpoints, but also take the essence to remove the dross, and absorb useful information from all kinds of voices.
the well-known blogger @ Wuman Guanjiang once put forward a "cognitive funnel model".
Human cognition is like a huge sinkhole, arranged in the form of a funnel.
I see less and less as I go down. I often feel social injustice, extreme emotions, anger and stubbornness.
see more and more, feel the beauty of the world, absorb more positive energy, know how to be considerate of others, and be compatible with each other.
there is a saying in Buddhism: "to get rid of ego, except for prejudice, all things are accessible to the heart and boundless."
people who are really good will never be stubbornly autistic and refuse to receive information from the outside world.
the founder of philosophy Life Network said to me two days ago:
"people have to have self, and they have to evolve constantly."
having a self is an affirmation of the self, while evolution is a negation of the self. "
A person cannot form a new cognition if he is permanently shielded from the outside world.
without new cognition, you can't deny yourself, and the evolution of life stops.
so the first step in cognitive upgrading is to open your ears, open your mind, and see the world.
when you put aside your opinions and no longer focus on self-experience, then the knowledge of your predecessors and the experiences of others around you will be the channels for you to get valuable information.
click on it. In the future, we will be more tolerant, less aggressive, accept everything first, and then introspect, so as to form our own multiple thinking cognition.