The root cause of one's bad temper: lack of wisdom

have read such a story.

there was a poor man who suddenly got rich overnight. although he had money, he always felt that he lacked wisdom.

so he found a wise man and hoped to buy some wisdom from the wise man for 100 taels of silver.

the wise man told him that no matter what happens in the future, you should take seven steps forward and then seven steps backward.

it was late at night when he opened the door and suddenly saw his wife lying in bed with another person.

the man was so angry that he rushed into the yard to pick up a knife and went into the house to cut people.

then he suddenly remembered the words of the wise man and took seven steps forward and seven steps back.

he calmed down after walking. When he entered the room and opened the quilt, he found that the other person lying on the bed was his mother.

it turned out that it was getting late, and his wife didn't see him coming back and dared not sleep alone, so she called his mother to keep her company.

because he controlled his temper, there was less disaster.

what the wise man wants to tell him is that a man is true wisdom only if he can control his temper.

scholar Zhu Guangqian once said, "you are often in a bad mood, but in fact you are not smart enough."

to keep in a good mood, you must first improve your wisdom.

the following four kinds of life wisdom can help you manage your emotions and be strong in your life.

01

when a person is in a bad mood, what you have to do is not to stumble to the end, not to cut corners, but to learn to turn.

Young writer Liu Tong tells the story with his mother in towards the Light.

Liu Tong took his mother to the mall to buy clothes and went to one house after another.

every time Liu Tong thinks the clothes look good, his mother won't even look at them. She either thinks they are not good-looking or expensive, but she just doesn't want to buy them.

Liu Tong could not hold back and shouted angrily at his mother, "what do you want?" The purpose of today is to buy clothes, you don't even look at it, you don't even try, you just reject it. If I had known that, why would I waste my time shopping with you? "

finally, Liu Tong and his mother had a big fight in the mall and went home angrily.

this is true of buying clothes, and so is buying other things.

whatever Liu Tong thinks is easy to use, when he wants to buy it for his mother, he will be flatly rejected by his mother, and then Liu Tong will lose his temper at his mother.

when he is so angry, Liu Tong will pack up his things and move to a hotel during the Spring Festival.

later, Liu Tong felt that it was not the way to quarrel like this, and he knew that his mother did not accept his shopping and did not want to spend money.

so he changed his mind and when he bought something for his mother, he would lie to her that the company had issued coupons and that he bought them with coupons and did not spend any money at all.

when Wechat transferred money to my mother, she lied to my mother that 10% of the handling fee would be deducted if she didn't collect the money within the specified time.

when he came up with this idea, his mother never refused to buy something for his mother or transfer money, and he never lost his temper with his mother.

when you turn your mind, the good and the bad will change; if you turn your mind, everything will become clear.

to the impassable road, it is better to learn to turn instead of losing control.

02

in the Book of morality, it is said: "misfortune is where good fortune depends, and good fortune lies where misfortune lies."

Wealth and misfortune always go hand in hand, and so are gains and losses.

A reporter went to interview Felix, the champion of the marathon. Who is the person he most wants to thank in his life?

unexpectedly, Felix wanted to thank not his family or the coach, but the thief who stole his bike.

when Felix was 13 years old, he attended a school five kilometers away from home. Because he could not afford to live in a school, his father bought him a bike. He cycled to and from school every day.

one morning, he went to school by bike, forgot to lock it, and the bike was stolen by thieves.

there is no money at home to buy him a new one, so he can only get up early and run to school, running ten kilometers back and forth every day.

at that time, instead of being angry with himself, Felix comforted himself by saying that he was exercising.

after running for three years, he became stronger and was recommended to run the marathon.

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in many marathons, he achieved great results and finally became the European marathon champion.

in this world, nothing is absolute, so are good and bad, gains and losses.

Zeng Guofan once wrote a couplet:

there is no easy place in the world, there is no difficult situation in the world;

there is a place of joy and worry all one's life.

difficult and easy situations, joys and worries are never opposed to each other, but two sides of the same body.

in life, we always encounter a lot of things that make our emotions get out of control. We should learn to treat things with dialectical thinking and think on the bright side.

if you want to open up, open up and let go, you will naturally feel clear and everything will be all right.

03

A young couple came to the marriage registration center of the Civil Affairs Bureau and asked for divorce formalities. Both of them were angry.

one says early relief, and the other says that even a minute late is torture.

the eldest sister who went through the formalities said apologetically, "I'm so sorry, but the printer is out of order. Would you like to come tomorrow?"

go again, there is something wrong with the network and ask to come back the next day.

after two twists and turns, the young couple disappeared and never showed up again.

the eldest sister who went through the formalities said, "in fact, this is a kind of kindness."The lie of Italy, a delaying tactic, is designed to calm both sides down and think rationally before making a decision. "

the eldest sister is Xiong Ling, a staff member of the Wuhan Civil Affairs Bureau. With similar "lies", Xiong Ling saved more than 500 couples who wanted to divorce and was called "the most beautiful matchmaker in Wuhan".

when you encounter an emergency, important matter, or worry, the more anxious you are to solve it, the easier it is to get out of control and make things worse.

you might as well put these problems aside and give yourself 30 seconds, three minutes, three hours, or even three days to digest them.

after learning cold treatment, there is nothing in the world worth getting angry with.

04

there is a good saying in Cai Gentan: "A gentleman's heart begins to appear when things come, while things go and his heart goes empty."

people who are really wise know how not to compete when things happen.

in the Song Dynasty, there was a painter named Zhu Ziming, whose landscape painting was unique.

Zhu Ziming's talent has aroused the envy of many of his peers.

so some people began to spread rumors to belittle him, saying that he was a "donkey painter".

when Emperor Huizong of the Song Dynasty had a special fondness for "donkey painting", he summoned Zhu Ziming to the palace and asked him to draw his own donkey.

Zhu Ziming was naturally angry when he encountered such a thing, but he did not compete or complain.

it's about practicing your skills so that one day you can stand out and be reused.

since then, he painted hundreds of "donkey paintings" for Song Huizong, which was greatly praised and finally became a veritable "the first donkey man in the world".

in his later years, Zhu Ziming said with emotion: "if I had been angry at that time, I would not only have angered the emperor to be beheaded, but also would have lost the opportunity to perform."

the reason why a person likes to be angry and has a bad temper is that he likes to compete, compete with himself, and compete with others.

the writer Ma de has a good saying: "the world seems to be surrounded by noise, all kinds of people, and so on." In essence, it's your own world. If you are clear, the world will be clean; if you are simple, the world will not be complicated. "

if the mind is concerned, the worry will increase; if the mind is open, the worry will be reduced.

if you don't compete when something happens, you can live at ease and live comfortably.

05

Lin Zexu's motto is "to control anger". Wherever he takes office, he will bring a plaque with the words "control anger".

after the destruction of opium in Humen, Lin Zexu was assigned to the borderland. before leaving, he pointed to the "anger" plaque on the wall and said to his wife, "take this with you."

the lady asked, "I haven't brought anything more expensive than this. Why are you carrying this?"

Lin Zexu replied, "this is the most precious thing." I carry it with me all the time, and now that I am old, I have to rely on it to support myself. "

as the old saying goes, everyone has a temper, it is instinct to take it out, and it is the ability to hold it down.

be an emotionally stable person for the rest of my life. May you and I both control our temper and keep our luck.