Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
Middle age is a watershed in life.
when we were young, we lived freely and naively thought we could control everything.
half of my life has passed. After experiencing the vicissitudes of life and seeing what life really looks like, we gradually realize that if we want to live an easy life in the second half of life, we should:
less expectation, less comparison, less entanglement.
once read a very poignant remark on the Internet:
"very often, you think that as long as you are good to others, others will also be nice to you, but you forget that some people, no matter how kind you are to them, they are just perfunctory. Very often, what you think is sincere is just a trick."
my friend Cher once confided to me that
Cher's classmates moved to their new house last year, and Cher and her husband offered to help.
in the middle of that day, unfortunately, there was a power outage in the community, and the couple helped move objects, large and small, from the first floor to the eleventh floor.
I was breathless and exhausted. I was busy for most of the day. Considering that my classmates were too busy, Cher didn't stay for dinner.
the students were very grateful to Cher at that time, and the relationship between the two families became closer.
Cher always thought that if she was in trouble and needed help one day, the other person would certainly do her best.
Cher's restaurant opened after the epidemic.
because there was a waiter from out of town who had not yet arrived, and there was a shortage of hands in the shop, Cher remembered and asked that classmate to come and help for a long time.
when I called, the classmate said she was out of town, but Cher didn't think much about it.
unexpectedly, Cher's husband saw the classmate walking his dog on his way from work.
this matter has always been haunted by Cher.
most of the time, we are disappointed or sad because our expectations have not been met.
in life, we always seem to like certain relationships, some people have great expectations, thinking that they have helped others, others will remember a favor.
you don't know that people are unpredictable, or you simply don't know what other people really think.
the greater the expectation, the stronger the sense of gap, and the more disappointed the person;
conversely, the lower the expectation, the easier it is to be satisfied and happy.
if you want to be happy, you have to expect less and be more casual, so that not only will you not be disappointed, but you will occasionally get a little surprise.
Tu Lei once said:
"most of the time we are not being ourselves, but imitating others, not living our own lives, but admiring other people's lives, not pursuing our own happiness, but copying other people's happiness.
it is undeniable that we have been making comparisons, and we have been comparing them since the beginning of our lives. We compare grades when we study, compare achievements after starting a career, compare clothes to brands, compare the size of buying a house, fall in love sweeter than, and marriage is more stable. "
the root cause of a person's unhappiness lies in comparison. As long as there is comparison, there will be a psychological gap, and the final result is frustration and self-negation.
Milan Kundera said:
"living somewhere else."
A lot of times, we see that other people's lives are happy, when we are cruel to ourselves, what we lose is good, and when we get it, we feel nothing more than that.
in the short film "neighbor's window", the hostess peeps into the neighbor's passionate life through the neighbor's window, yearning for it, thus becoming more dissatisfied with her tedious and tiring life.
but when she found in the binoculars that the man on the other side had died of illness, and the hostess on the other side was also yearning for a lively life in her family through the window, she was shocked and realized that her life was warm.
in life, we often only see the scenery of others, but ignore the vicissitudes of others. When others are happy, you are full of envy, but never look squarely at what you have.
in fact, the most precious thing in the moment is what you have right now. Life is not somewhere else, just here.
I have heard a heart-piercing remark:
"if you can't avoid comparison all your life, you might as well change your way of thinking. Go to the hospital and have a look. In fact, health is the greatest wealth. Walking in the graveyard and living well is the greatest luxury."
less comparison, more cherish, you will get a calm, a happy.
Liu Zhenyun tells a series of bad things about "tofu" in "chicken feathers in one place".
the protagonist, Xiao Lin, delayed the work bus in order to buy tofu, was late for work, and the new college student was serious about his work, so he took the initiative to mark him as "late", and Xiao Lin angrily changed it to "punctual". But I was very unhappy all day.
I forgot to put tofu in the refrigerator because I caught the bus, so I quarreled with my wife Xiao Li.
the two quarreled, and Xiao Lin began to accuse his wife of breaking a thermos before, and his wife said that Xiao Lin had also broken a vase.
Kobayashi is always entangled in trivial things that upset him and make his life a mess.
in life, if a person cares about everything, it will only make it difficult for him to fall into the quagmire of life.
the more you dwell on bad things, things will get worse and worse and the end will get worse and worse.
many people live a tired life, not because life is too bad, but because of constantly entangling with the past, making themselves physically and mentally exhausted.
Li Xuelian in the movie "I am not Pan Jinlian" is a person who entangled too deeply in the past.
Li Xuelian, a rural woman, was slandered by her ex-husband:
"is your name Li Xuelian? What do I do?Do you think your name is Pan Jinlian? "
in order to get justice for herself, she told everyone, "I am not Pan Jinlian." she fought lawsuits for 20 years, from the county town to Beijing, and grieved for most of her life. In the end, she did not correct this sentence.
for 20 years, Li Xuelian could have lived a better life, but she entangled for half her life for a word, a bad breath, and a bad thing.
Get prepared to buy a fabulous summer wedding guest dresses and be the center of attention? You'll be surprised by the confidence you'll have!
Maria Robinson said:
"No one can go back and start anew, but everyone can create a new future from the present."
A person will encounter many unpleasant things in his life. If everything is to be caught up in it, it will certainly bring endless troubles to himself.
it is easier to be happy if you don't struggle with bad things and don't worry about trifles.
writer Ma de said:
this world seems to be surrounded by noise, all kinds of people, etc. In essence, it's your own world.
if you are clear, the world will be clean;
if you are simple, the world will not be complicated.
most of the people who live a difficult life and have a lot of troubles come from high expectations, more, and deep entanglement.