Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
I saw a hot question a few years ago. When I grew up, what was the most regrettable thing I did?
in the comments, I saw a lot of people's remorse and repentance.
No more than two things, one is getting married too early, and the other is reading too little.
get married too early, do not know what they really want, entrusted to the wrong person, depressed all day long;
read too little, the ascending path is limited, busy all day is a humble thing, tired and can not make money.
if you could turn the clock back and go back to the day you made your choice, would you still do that?
someone gave a heartbreaking answer: be sure to bypass that person and read on.
get married too early
Xiaohui, a college classmate, is a girl who got married as soon as she graduated.
just after graduation, her family eagerly arranged a blind date for her before she had a formal job.
blind dates don't look that annoying, but they don't like them that much either.
her family urged her: "how can there be so much touching love? it's all family affection."
the mother-in-law also promised: "Don't worry, when you get married, you will be treated as your own daughter."
Xiaohui didn't retort much or have any opinions, so she got married only half a year after graduation.
before marriage, the matchmaker said that his family opened a small company outside, and his boyfriend also helped with the company at home.
after marriage, Xiaohui found that the operation of her father-in-law's company was difficult, and her husband often left work for several months and played games at home.
at that time, she was already pregnant and unable to work. Her husband did not earn money, and her husband could only take money from her father-in-law for food and clothing expenses. At this time, her mother-in-law would make sarcastic remarks.
it was a day like this until after the baby was born, she couldn't stand it and divorced her husband after a year and a half of marriage.
after the divorce, she raised children alone and had to go to work, leading a frugal and hard life.
there is a question and answer on Zhihu: what advice do you have for young people? The answer to the likes of
7.9W is, "if you are just an ordinary person and want to achieve a higher standard of living, I suggest you not get married too early."
getting married too early means that you are too young, you don't have a mature understanding of love, marriage, and life, and you don't have enough experience and ways to cope with the coming storm of life.
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getting married too early also means that you have to bear all the expenses of a small family, decoration, etiquette, and living expenses before you have any savings. Carve up the not-yet-full wage card every minute.
if you have a child, the cost of parenting is as fast as a cash shredder.
not only do you spend money, but your energy and time are occupied by one life, so it's hard to get out and try other life possibilities.
if your family doesn't have too much support, don't get married too early.
first let your life have something to accumulate, to see the vast world, to realize your dreams, is responsible for yourself, but also for your children.
read too little
Zhihu once had a question: what kind of life will a woman who does not read?
there is an answer that is still fresh in my memory:
A girl who does not study can run errands and take care of her younger brothers and sisters from an early age; when she is older, she can work to support her family and support her younger brothers and sisters; after getting married, she will have children and wait on her husband's parents-in-law. When the daughter grows up, she repeats her mother's fate. The only way to get rid of this strange circle is to read.
Ted speech once told a story.
Fayza was forced to drop out of school when she was 8 years old, and she was married to a local man by her parents.
at the age of 14, she had to become the wife of a 60-year-old man. By the age of 18, she was already a mother of three.
tragic life, hopeless life, make Fayza realize that the only way to change his life is through education.
so she takes care of the children during the day, does housework, starts reading and studies in the evening, and applies for self-examination.
finally, Fayza successfully passed the exam, entered the university to study, and got rid of the trough of life.
wherever you are, reading is an achievable way to get rid of the bottom.
I have heard a saying that makes sense:
while you are young, read more, read good books, and read on. The books you read now are all to make the rest of your life suffer less.
for ordinary people who have no resources and no connections, reading is still the only way to settle down.
read more books when you are young, but at a certain age, you will have less words to ask for help.
two magic weapons to change your life:
stop loss in time, and now learn
there is a sentence in
"the Girl who kills Quail". When you look back on your life, you will find that when to study abroad, when to decide to do your first job, when to choose a partner and fall in love, and when to get married are all great changes in fate.
it was just that when you stood at a fork in the road and saw the wind and clouds, the day you made your choice, it was quite dull and ordinary in your diary, and you thought it was an ordinary day in your life at that time. "
it was that seemingly ordinary day when we thought we were young and made a rash decision, thinking that there were still many opportunities to remedy it.
it was only later that we found that seemingly inadvertent choices were the gray lines of fate. From then on, fate is like falling dominoes, one ring linked to another.
getting married too early and reading too little, these young and easy choices are not under self-control.In front of fate, it is a "cause" that makes things worse, and it is also a foreseeable "effect".
the present state of life is the result of previous youth and ignorance, and the choices made now are also the cause of the fate of the future.
if you want to stop this slide into a worse fate pattern, you have to restore a sense of control of fate, so what should be done?
one is to stop loss in time, and the other is to learn now.
first, stop the loss in time. Many times, it has been found that many people know the cause of life's pain, but they can't make a change. In addition to lack of financial independence, there is also mental dependence, and they are unable to cope with the treachery of life independently.
but there is no way, in order to stop the loss in time, you must first have the ability to make decisions for yourself.
secondly, learn now. Some people often ask me whether I can still study now that I am 30 years old. How many children do I have now? can I still study?
the answer is yes, the best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now, as long as you start to change, it is never too late, the key is that you must do something.
on Weibo, a sister asked online: will it be late to go out to study at the age of 30?
in the early years, because I had no money and no conditions, I still want to study my favorite major, but I am afraid that I am too old.
A sister in the comment area told her true experience:
when she was studying abroad, she met an internship mentor who did not study for a master's degree until she was 60. The white old lady worked as a housewife all her life, raised three children, had an affair with her husband, divorced, and was assigned a house.
later, after studying abroad and going to work, she became her internship mentor.
No matter what kind of situation you go to in life, you have the right to choose and the consequences of choice.
the key is that you should have the courage and courage to correct life's problems. As long as you want to start and change, it's never too late.
whether it's getting married too early, reading too little, or any regrets in life, let them become experiences and stories, and don't let them become shackles that hold you back.