There is a kind of self-cultivation, called not to say!
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
when you are alive, you can say that it is a kind of ability, but knowing not to say is a person's greatest self-cultivation.
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unnecessary discussions, don't participate;
unnecessary explanations, don't worry;
unnecessary answers, don't ask.
it is sometimes more comfortable to shut up at the right time than to be eloquent.
as the old saying goes, it is better to say too much than to have few words.
A true wise man may not be eloquent, but he must know when to be silent.
most of the time, seeing through without telling is the most important attitude we should have in life.
01
respect
on weekdays, you must have heard the saying:
"he still refuses to forgive me after apologizing."
"the child is so young and ignorant that he still cares so much as an adult."
"it's not a big deal, but is it so sad?"
.
in life, there is always a group of people who like to talk to others behind their backs.
do not know, do not understand the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be magnanimous.
everyone has their own standpoint, and it is the greatest disrespect for others to casually comment and comment on others without knowing the situation.
as Mark Levi wrote in his book the Shadow Theft:
recently, Academician Zhong Nanshan has been pushed to the forefront of public opinion.
the reason is that an actress with millions of fans openly questioned Zhong online, fiercely questioning: "what contribution do you have?" How many people have you cured? "
to be honest, this has happened more than once or twice.
earlier, when the public welfare program "Chinese characters-Dreams" about Zhong Nanshan was broadcast, a shot was swept onto Zhong Nanshan's son Zhong Zhi de.
netizens with sharp eyes immediately saw the Herm è s belt on Zhong Qide's waist.
as a result, the voices of questioning, discussion and even criticism sprang up on the Internet:
"Yes, you are the son of the hero Zhong Nanshan!"
"shouldn't you wear patched clothes, two white steamed buns for each meal, and squeeze the bus to work every day?"
"how dare you use Herm è s? Why do you use Hermes? "
.
in fact, many people just see one side of the story and jump to conclusions.
and is very happy to comment and criticize it from the commanding point of morality.
they don't care about the truth, nor do they care about the truth, as if the harder they speak, the nobler they are!
everyone knows that the more they talk with the wind and attack them in groups, the more ignorant they are.
Wang Xiaobo once said:
in many cases, no arbitrary comments and no malicious speculation is a person's greatest self-cultivation.
as the saying goes, be careful when you are in a group and be careful when you are alone.
people who are really educated will choose to keep their mouth shut when they don't know the truth.
02
keeping a promise is to cultivate
life for only a few decades, and it is not easy to build trust.
but the destruction is so simple that you only need to break your promise once.
just like the shepherd boy in the fairy tale "the Wolf is coming", the prank was forgiven for the first time, so when he called the wolf for the second time, they still put down their things and rushed over.
but after the second prank, people's trust in him was so exhausted that when he called the wolf for the third time, no one came to the rescue.
thus it can be seen that if a person always lies, he or she will hurt himself in the end.
Confucius said: words must be honest, deeds must be faithful.
honesty is not only a person's highest character, but also a person's self-cultivation in doing things.
only by keeping good faith can we stay in the world for a long time without losing.
I remember that at the beginning of Shang Yang's reform, in order to win the trust of the people, he ordered to set up a log three feet long outside the south gate of the city, and made a public promise that a reward of ten taels would be given to anyone who could move this piece of wood to the north gate.
No one wanted to try. Later, the bounty mentioned fifty yuan, and finally someone carried the wood to the north gate.
Shang Yang immediately ordered a reward of 50 gold.
in this way, the trust of the people in him was slowly established, the reform was soon carried out throughout the country, and the State of Qin became stronger and stronger.
A person who never breaks his promise is true to his word, honest, and loyal to his promises.
such people can keep their word and let people have 100% trust at all times, so they can win the support of the people, and the road of life will be easier.
as the saying goes, do not deceive yourself on the inside and others on the outside.
the most important thing in a person's life is to live up to the trust of others and his promise.
03
does not reveal the shortcoming, it is kind
what is kindness?
kindness is the warmth of being able to see the unspeakable secrets of others, and then put yourself in one's shoes.
there is such an example:
A classmate sits and eats together after class.
one of them has financial difficulties and often eats only a little boiled food, or even does not eat it.
everyone knows that, but no one has broken it.
one day, the classmate took out his own food as usual. before he could eat it, he heard a man murmur at a moderate volume: "I'm tired of eating these every day."
all of a sudden, the classmate blushed and left with his lunch box sheepishly.Get out.
in this world, everyone knows a lot of things, but some choose to say, some choose not to say.
it is not only a kind of thoughtfulness, but also a kind of kindness.
We don't need to "expose" everything. Some truths are good to see, and if it doesn't matter, you don't have to tell them.
Emperor Liang Yuan once said: words and deeds lie in beauty, not in many.
everyone has their own secrets, and some things are inexplicable, so they would rather be ignored than asked.
as Shen Congwen wrote in the Border Town:
A really kind person who knows how to leave room for others and does not expose other people's "face" is the most worthy of respect.
May you and I understand the wisdom of "don't say" for the rest of my life.
Don't talk rashly in front of respect, don't slip your tongue in front of honesty, and don't reveal your faults in front of kindness.
keep your heart and go your own way.
share with you!