Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
A man stood on the top of the mountain and told others that he saw a vast ocean and the scenery was incomparably beautiful.
while the other person only walked halfway up the mountain and told others that there was no scenery, only desolation.
position determines the level and the point of view of the problem.
Zhuangzi said: well frogs can't talk about the sea, summer worms can't talk about ice.
the position is different and cannot understand each other, so there is no need to explain.
it is difficult to empathize with
Haruki Murakami said: not all fish live in the same sea.
everyone's situation is different, their understanding and feelings will be different.
there are many such examples in our life:
in our community, there is such a mother and son.
my son is the factory director of a large enterprise, and my mother is an old lady from the countryside.
residents of the community found that the factory director's mother revolved around the dustbins every day, always picking up some junk in it.
so everyone got together and began to talk, accusing the big factory director of being unfilial to his mother and letting the old lady pick up garbage at such an old age.
of course, this word also spread to the factory director, but I never saw him explain anything to everyone.
later, I learned from the relatives of the factory director that the old lady, who was used to farm work in the countryside, sat at home in a daze when she had nothing to do, and only became happy when she was picking up rubbish. The factory director obeyed the old lady in order to give the old lady something to do so as not to get sick.
everyone lives in a different background, and the way of looking at the problem is only according to their own point of view. sometimes, interpretation can only be misunderstood as a defense, so it is better to remain silent.
moreover, people in different situations may not be able to empathize with each other even if they explain it again.
A 14-year-old girl in Henan chose to commit suicide by swallowing medicine.
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facing the media camera, her disabled father shed tears.
he said to himself, "our family is so poor that our three children only have one mobile Internet class, and the second daughter committed suicide by taking medicine."
this has caused a heated discussion on the Internet, and many people do not understand it:
"are people still going to commit suicide because of a mobile phone?"
"the little girl is so young, how come she doesn't know how to cherish her life? Is cell phone more important than life? "
Van Gogh said: there is a fire in everyone's heart, but passers-by only see smoke.
you have never experienced other people's lives, so you will never empathize with them.
just like the emperor of the Jin Dynasty, when he learned that the common people had been starved to death, he would say, "the people have no corn to satisfy their hunger, why not eat minced meat?" Such a joke is the same.
if you haven't been poor or miserable, don't ask me why I don't eat minced meat; if you haven't cried and despair, don't ask me why I made such a choice.
there is a truth in life: different positions, different feelings, different situations and inexplicable explanations.
so sometimes not explaining is the best explanation.
different cognition, don't force to understand
some people say that the biggest difference between people is the difference in cognition.
Cognition is different, and your views on some things will never be on the same channel.
I saw such a story on Weibo the other day:
A battery car collided with a Bentley.
the traffic police called up the surveillance video at the scene and concluded that the accident was mainly caused by the random lane change of the battery car, so the battery car should take full responsibility.
the responsibility was so clearly defined that the owner of the Bentley even said that he was willing to take insurance and bear the cost of subsequent repairs to the Bentley.
but the owner of the battery car quit and asked the Bentley owner to compensate him for the repair of the battery car. The reason given was: you are a rich man, not short of this money.
and make a mockery of the law enforcement traffic police: "you just hate the poor and love the rich, and favor the rich!"
some people say that arguing with people with different perceptions is a kind of unnecessary consumption.
different cognition, different levels of understanding, communication is really difficult, and it is often difficult to reach a consensus.
Guo Degang once said: some people think that crosstalk edifies sentiment, while others think that crosstalk is too vulgar and that people have their own aspirations and can not be forced.
so, when a colleague accused his crosstalk of being only funny and had no taste at all, he did not retort, but said with a smile, "Let's be funny first, it would be too funny if it's not funny."
there is a classic line in "five centimeters per second": we look up at the same sky, but look at different places.
the world is originally a mixture of individuals with different differences, and different levels determine that the latitude of thinking cannot be on the same plane. Even if you try your best to explain, he may not be able to agree with your ideas.
all wise people should understand that cognition is different and there is no need to explain.
be yourself, don't bother to explain
someone summed up one point: people who don't understand you really don't need to explain.
as Jordan said in an interview:
"if you want to explain, it has to be useful for people who want to hear it, and a lot of people don't want to hear it, so it's useless for you to say it."
therefore, sometimes it is a kind of wisdom of life not to explain.
first of all, you have to distinguish whether it is necessary to explain:
people with different experiences and circumstances may not be able to understand you.
people who have cognitive biases, no matter how much you explain, they can't recognize you.
in addition, you have to distinguish whether it is worth explaining:
Luo Yung-Hao once jokingly said: "you only have to explain to two kinds of people: first, people in the court will have an accident if they do not explain; second, true relatives and friends will be sad if they do not explain."
the rest of the casual acquaintances and nodding friends do not need an explanation.
living somewhere else says: "giving yourself to the eyes of others is the source of unease and suspicion."
A true wise man keeps his mouth shut when he is in a group and when he is alone.
instead of trying to explain yourself to others, learn to be silent and live your life quietly.
Life is short, why insist on right or wrong, difficult for yourself, as long as the heart is bright and the wind is clear, there is no need to explain to others!