To parents: how to solve these six key questions in the process of children's growth, the answers are all here.
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Li Meijin, an education expert, once said a thought-provoking remark:
when children grow up, they will inevitably encounter all kinds of difficulties.
as parents, our every move is very important to our children, but in many cases, parents don't know what to do with their children and don't know how to guide them in the right way. can't beat, scold, say, or spoil.
this is the distress of many families, especially the six key issues in the growth of children, which must not be ignored.
question 1: children procrastinate in their homework and lose attention
in fact, parents should pay attention to this situation from the first grade of primary school. The sooner you start to pay attention to it and the sooner you establish a good learning environment for your child, the sooner your child's learning habits can begin to develop.
first of all, if there are conditions, try to give the child a quiet and simple environment for writing homework. There are no toys, stationery is as simple as possible, and there is nothing on the desk as far as possible. In addition to the necessary paper, pens and erasers, do not leave any other unnecessary things. From the external space, let him be focused as much as possible.
then, parents had better know which homework their children have every day, which can be divided into three items, the first is simple, the second is a little difficult, and the third is simple.
plan the time required for each item, such as this simple assignment, and you expect your child to finish it in 20 minutes. You can say to him:
generally speaking, 30 minutes of concentration is also a limit for most children.
the faster you write, the more you are right, and the longer you play, whereas the slower you write and the more mistakes you make, the shorter you play.
this can play a role of encouragement and punishment, urging him to focus on finishing his work within a certain period of time. After one or two months of exercise, the child's efficiency in doing homework will naturally be significantly improved. Will also imperceptibly cultivate good habits for children without procrastination.
question 2: children do not listen to their parents' advice and it is useless to reason.
as soon as puberty comes to puberty, many parents will find that they can no longer talk about their children. If they nag a little more, their children will look impatient and even throw temper at you.
in fact, at this time, parents' nagging is counterproductive. If you talk too much, there will be no dignity. Instead, parents should learn to keep their mouths shut.
A child's self-esteem is very obvious during adolescence. Sometimes parents only need to point out, and it is enough for the child to know and understand. There is no need for her to admit her mistakes.
for the sake of others, we adults don't want someone in our ears to keep reminding us of our mistakes and forcing ourselves to be ashamed.
if parents always "educate" their children with the attitude of "you shouldn't do this" and "what you're doing is wrong", the child will become rebellious, "I'll do it" and "I'm going to be wrong all the time." it's also easy to do some extreme behavior.
"nagging" too much is a kind of suffocating love, parents should learn to talk enough and reason so far.
question 3: it is becoming more and more difficult to control children, beating, scolding, saying no
Li Meijin once described such a kind of child:
there is a kind of family child who is very good before the age of 12, but gradually starts not to listen to you after the age of 12, and sometimes he is a "jerk".
in fact, in families in this situation, parents generally dote on their children, but the consequences of indulging their children will break out at puberty. At this time, you find that you can no longer control your children, and you can neither beat nor scold them. I can't say yet.
parents are at a loss as to what to do. Any method of discipline has been used, but it has no effect.
A child's disobedience is an inevitable manifestation of adolescence. When he grows up, he naturally has an independent mind. Coupled with years of doting on him, he can do whatever he wants.
when faced with this situation, parents should first realize that their education is a failure, admit the result first, and then improve it.
for such children, in fact, they are not suitable for rough discipline, let alone leave the children to teachers and schools. What they need is respect and companionship.
take the initiative to get in touch with the child, respect his ideas, and do something meaningful with him. Do not blindly overbearing discipline, this is not good, that is not good, but push the child away.
you can give him many options, let him choose freely, and tell him that this is his own life, and that he has the right and duty to be responsible for his own life.
Don't talk too much about the truth, and don't beat or scold the child when you are so angry.
just say what you should say, respect and trust him, even if you think he is not listening and disapprove of your words, but in fact, as long as you are reasonable, he still takes your words as words in his heart.
also remember that before the age of 12, don't be too obedient to your child, learn to let go, and don't be a nanny parent. after the age of 12, children will not become more and more "mixed".
question 4: children fail to keep up with their grades and always lack self-confidence.
some children are usually very smart, but their grades always fail; some children work very hard, but their studies have no effect.
how can parents help their children in such a situation?
first of all, no matter how much a child scores in the exam, he should be sure of his achievements. For a child, no matter how many scores he gets in the exam, he can be recognized and accepted, rather than being afraid to take the test paper home once he fails in the exam.
the child's heart is stretched.So that he has the motivation to move on.
secondly, give children strength. In fact, 90% of the children have no intelligence problems, and 10% of the mentally retarded children also have their own obvious advantages in other aspects.
giving strength is not simply praising the child, but encouraging him to make efforts to achieve this achievement and helping him to solve the difficulties on the way to study.
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help children find the reasons for their poor grades, communicate frankly with their children, and be their fellow students on the way to study.
if it is a problem of learning methods, find an excellent tutor for your child to help him find various suitable learning skills. Even his parents can find time to study with him, watch and write math problems and compositions together.
the score is managed by the teacher, and the parents should manage the children's learning interest and attitude.
question 5: children are addicted to the Internet and do not like to learn
Children are addicted to the Internet is a topic of concern to many parents. Most families either beat or scold such children.
"when I pay you to go to school, you just stay at home and play games? An undutiful son. "
"play games every day. Do you want to beg for food when you grow up?"
scolding like this is so common that some parents even resent game operators for dragging down their children.
in fact, the Internet is only the trigger, but not the root cause of children's dislike of learning. The real dynamite is the child's psychological "loneliness" and "boredom".
our Chinese children, starting from 7:00 in the morning, have to sit in the classroom to study. When they get home in the evening, they have to do their homework quickly, and they have to go to cram school on weekends and holidays. Time is being squeezed by study, so he naturally feels single and boring. I want something to relax.
he feels unhappy at school and happy surfing the Internet. What should I do at this time?
take children to exercise and play. When he has a variety of interests, interesting life and mental strength, he will not be addicted to the Internet.
when children do not exercise enough, their physiological nerves will not be excited, and they will easily have all kinds of psychological problems, especially in junior high school and senior high school, to accompany them to exercise, long-distance running and swimming, and to accompany them to do what they are interested in.
put your study aside first. Don't worry. If you have enough exercise and play with him, he will naturally want to take the initiative to learn.
question 6: children are introverted and afraid of communication
most parents prefer eloquent and active children. In fact, such a child, in his family growth environment, can not lack of communication, companionship and love.
but on the contrary, some children are particularly silent, often walk with their heads down, are not confident in learning, are introverted, afraid of communication and afraid of eye contact.
the families of such children must be lack of companionship and communication. They spend a lot of time alone, and their parents have no time to accompany them, nor do they have the patience to talk to them from the bottom of their hearts. some parents even show dignity and scold their children when they disagree.
when the child grows up, the parents will get angry when they see his dreary appearance, but they do not realize that these are the disasters they have accumulated over the years.
what should I do at this time?
Don't force your child to be gregarious, to become outgoing. Introverts have their own advantages, they know better how to play with themselves, are more focused, and are more sensitive to people's emotions.
parents should recognize his advantages, never strengthen his label of "introverted and shy", encourage him to do well, cultivate some artistic interest for him, and let him have more fun with himself.
in this world, there is not only one model for an excellent child. It is more important to trust your child and respect your child than to be successful.
many problems in the growth of children actually begin to ferment as early as when the child is still young.
We all talk about family education, but family education is not to wait for the child to have problems before educating, but from the birth of the child, parents have to fulfill the responsibility of "the first teacher".
every child is Chollima, but not every parent is Bole.
more companionship, more understanding, more respect, more guidance, more setting an example.
be patient, take care of the child with love, and influence the child with his own behaviors and habits, so that the child will grow into an excellent adult and influence the next generation.