When people reach middle age, they learn to see a doctor for themselves.

when people reach middle age, after the baptism of years and the precipitation of time, we gradually understand the flavor of life.

it is precisely because of knowing some principles of life that it is easy to become sophisticated and smooth and give rise to some problems.

after middle age, to avoid greasy, you have to learn to look inward and "see a doctor" yourself.

01

even if you try your best to learn to be introverted, you will unconsciously introduce the topic to the past where it is difficult for others to participate, to show off your experience.

in the Song Dynasty, there was an official named Zhong Fu. His own handwriting was not good, but he liked to judge other people's handwriting very much.

once he saw a plaque hanging in a temple, but the signature was blurred.

so he immediately complained proudly about the words on the plaque, and asked the monks in the temple to remove the plaque and rewrite it themselves.

after the monk removed the plaque and wiped it clean, he found that the words belittled by Zhong Fu were written by Yan Zhenqing.

seeing this, Zhong Fu had to murmur angrily, "Why aren't calligraphy and paintings like this engraved on a stone tablet?"

the greatest stupidity of a person is to think that he knows everything, tell others what to do and judge.

the better you are as a teacher, the more you will expose your ignorance.

A netizen on Weibo once told his story.

after entering middle age, he unwittingly becomes fond of showing off.

when someone asks him for advice, he can't stop. He often talks at length about all aspects of life, feelings, and work to each other, like an omniscient "life mentor."

but those who are often lectured by him, instead of thanking him, begin to distance themselves from him one by one.

later he gradually realized that everyone has different experiences, and that if he wisely instructs and interferes with other people's lives with his own principles, it will only be offensive in the end.

Mencius said, "the trouble of man is to be a teacher."

nothing is most taboo in interpersonal communication than showing superiority everywhere and educating others with their own experience of "people who have been there".

learning to restrain your desire to be a teacher and get rid of arrogance is the highest level of self-discipline for middle-aged people.

02

the disease of boasting   there are always some people in life who like to talk big and brag about themselves.

in the sketch "speak for you", Guo Zi is a middle-aged man who works in the railway department.

in order to make others think highly of himself, he often blows his own trumpet and infinitely exaggerates his ability.

he not only lied about his connections in the railway department, but also boasted about his ability to buy tickets that no one else could buy.

my friend heard that he was well-connected, so he asked him for help to get two berth tickets for the Spring Festival travel season.

in order to keep his lies from being exposed, he had to agree to it.

he queued up all night in winter to buy a ticket, but failed to buy it all night, and finally bought a high-priced ticket out of his own pocket.

when his wife learned of this, she had a big fight with him and said angrily that she could not live with him any more.

looking at his wife's angry face, he realized that those big words not only failed to make others think highly of him, but also hurt himself.

the best wisdom is to be humble, sensitive to things and careful in words, both as a person and in the world.

Confucius has a disciple named Zaiyu, who is usually outspoken and likes to talk big.

at first Confucius admired him and thought he was ambitious, but later he found out that he was only fond of boasting.

so Confucius reprimanded him severely.

also laid down the rule: all disciples of Confucius must match their words with their deeds, and they must not talk empty words or brag.

under the teacher's criticism, Zaiyu quickly realized his mistake and was cautious in his words and deeds ever since.

Zaiyu, who cured the problem of boasting, was re-recognized by Confucius and later ranked among the ten philosophers among the three thousand disciples and became a true sage.

Zeng Guopan said: "to stand up is based on not making false remarks."

when you reach middle age, you should learn to control your tongue.

to control your mouth, to be humble and to do things calmly is not only self-cultivation, but also wisdom.

03

the disaster of saving face

Yi Zhongtian once said: "face is the treasure of our Chinese people, and it almost dominates our daily life."

it is only natural to save face, but it is a disaster to save face.

Lu Xun once recorded a story in his essay.

A person who went to the funeral found that everyone else had received filial piety from the family of the deceased, but he did not.

he felt that he was treated differently and lost face, so he gathered some friends and made a scene.

as a result, it was originally a funeral hall, but it turned into a battlefield.

later, the story became so popular that he lost face in the whole village.

as Zheng Yuanjie said, "the result of saving face is mostly losing face."

be a man, let go of unnecessary vanity and don't let face be kidnapped.

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there is an entrepreneur in my hometown who is bankrupt in middle age, is heavily in debt, and it is a problem to support his family.

his former competitor said, "I can give you a job to work in my company."

people around him advised him not to go, and it was too humiliating to work for his former opponent.

but he gladly answeredAccepted this job, but also made every effort to this job.

gradually, he got better and better with his boss and was appreciated.

then he partnered with his former rival and current boss to start a company and let his career take off again.

Yi Shu said: "face is the hardest thing for a person to put down, and it is the most useless thing." The more you care about it, the heavier it will be and the more difficult it will be for you to move. "

too much emphasis on face will only hinder your progress.

the less people take face seriously, the less burdened they are, the more respectable they will live in the end.

after middle age, get rid of the problem of saving face, and the road of life will be wider and wider.

04

the disease of inner greasy

when people reach middle age, what is more terrible than image greasy is inner greasy.

lost the simplicity and original intention of his youth, and became sleek and sophisticated, complex and vulgar.

during the five dynasties, there was a minister named Feng Dao, who was very snobbish and belittled the bullying and welcomed the upper.

he was an official with a total of five dynasties and 11 emperors. every time the new monarch ascended to the throne, he immediately flattered and said the most flattering words.

on one occasion, Zhou Shizong wanted to follow the example of Emperor Taizong and lead troops himself.

at this time, Feng Dao, who had always been accustomed to flattering, immediately smiled and flattered and said, "the emperor is the emperor, and Emperor Taizong is Emperor Taizong. How can it be compared?"

in fact, what he is trying to say is that the emperor is wiser than Emperor Taizong.

but the reputation of Emperor Taizong in history is really too strong.

as soon as Feng Dao made this remark, Zhou Shizong flew into a rage and thought that Feng Dao was ridiculing him.

after this incident, Zhou Shizong was very disgusted with Feng Dao and sent him to manage the fortifications for the construction of Zhou Taizu's tomb.

when he flattered the horse's hoof, Feng Dao was frightened and panicked all day long, and soon became depressed and died.

when people reach middle age, if they can't keep their hearts clean and greasy, they will only get resentment and disgust from others.

Host Ma Teng once said: "greasy, in essence, is a kind of self-exile."

writer Feng Tang once wrote an article entitled "how to avoid becoming a greasy middle-aged creepy man" when he was 47.

in the article, he clearly listed ten rules to warn himself not to become a greasy middle-aged man.

through the middle of his life, he has learned more and more that his mind is not greasy and his heart is not depraved, so that he can see more beautiful scenery.

in the second half of life, the best realm is to know the world but not to be sophisticated, sleek and naive.

▽

most diseases in the world are heart disease, and the best medicine is often yourself.

as Professor Hong Zhaoguang said, you will always be your best doctor.

when people reach middle age and half a slope, the most rare way for us to wake up is to see clearly what is wrong with us and heal ourselves.