"whose marriage is not like this, either endure it or divorce it!"

01

Chinese marriage: I can't stand it, and I can't stand it without seeing a post two days ago.

the blogger is talking about her marriage and confusion.

married for 5 years, the child is 2 years old, the husband and himself have stable jobs, the two are free to fall in love and marry, in the eyes of outsiders, it should be a dull and happy family.

can peel off the glossy outer layer to reveal the chicken and dog pieces of life, only to find that no one's marriage is easy.

the sex life is getting less and less, even less harmonious.

although the husband bears the main financial expenses of the family, he hardly does housework and seldom takes care of the children alone.

she wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination and slowly turn the time she had devoted to her family to her career, but her husband always refused and even felt that she had become selfish after marriage.

on the anniversary after marriage, there are no more flowers or gifts. Most of them are "forgotten" and "old husbands and wives".

unhappy again and again, it accumulates into dissatisfaction and resentment.

discussed rationally and quarreled fiercely, but it was still useless. All kinds of contradictions always existed, and no one would give way.

want a divorce, but feel that the problem is not so serious, the children are young, and they need a complete family.

the result is that the more you go too far, the more tired you feel, and the more you endure it, the more uncomfortable you feel. At the end of the

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post, she comforted herself, "whose marriage is not like this, either endure or divorce, but how many people really can stand it and can really divorce?"

Yes, how many people think that marriage is the refuge of life and the relieving device of loneliness, but it is not until personal experience that they understand that no one can escape the "difficulties" of life, and no one can escape the "bitterness" of loneliness.

Marriage is not love, no feeling can break up, unhappy can break up, marriage is the collision of family and family, the compromise of life and life, the magnification of the shortcomings of details.

the predecessors always advised that whoever's marriage is not like this, sewing and mending is a lifetime, and endure it.

but wait for some people to put up with it again and again, only to find that even if all the feelings have been worn away, divorce is not as easy as they thought.

it's like a line from the movie A sigh: "I hold your hand, just like the left hand holds the right hand. It feels gone, but it's hard to separate."

Marriage is a besieged city. It is easy to get in, but difficult to get out.

02

Don't be impulsive to get married, be careful about divorce

recently, the topic of "divorce cooling-off period" has become a hot search again.

from January 1, 2021, all couples who agree to divorce will have to go through five steps: application, acceptance, cooling-off period, examination and registration.

while the cooling-off period alone takes at least 30 days.

obviously, the cost of time and energy for divorce is higher.

netizens are indignant that this approach treats the symptoms rather than the root causes.

but in the final analysis, the premise of divorce is marriage, and the premise of marriage is to think twice.

if marriage comes from a momentary impulse, then the family and children will also become "children's play".

if divorce comes from a moment of discontent, you will lose no matter who you meet in this battlefield of life.

in this world, no couple is happy from beginning to end, and no marriage is perfect.

A study of 2000 couples in the UK shows that many couples take each other's efforts for granted when they enter their third year of marriage, with 49 per cent of them already showing dissatisfaction with their partners.

it's easy to have fun at first sight, but it's hard to get tired of it for a long time.

long-term relationships are the most likely to breed discontent. Love is palpitating, but marriage is enduring again and again.

as Zhou Guoping said, the stability of marriage depends not so much on love as on the harmony of the little things in daily life.

No matter how passionate love is implemented in marriage, there is only the triviality of firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea.

if you are not ready to tolerate each other's shortcomings all the time before marriage, and if you are not prepared for the differences in your living habits, please think twice.

Marriage is not a life event that has to be accomplished, but marriage is made up of one little thing after another.

in recent years, all kinds of divorces big data shows that more and more people get divorced because of "the trivialities of life".

"after dinner, he slumped on the sofa without picking up the dishes. I couldn't stand it, so I left."

"he still threw his cigarette butts in it when he knew I liked orchids." "

incidents like this are not enumerated. Outsiders are surprised, but the parties concerned feel relieved.

as Tagore said: what makes people tired is not the distant mountain, but a grain of sand in the shoe.

it is not the last straw that kills the camel, but hundreds of straws below.

but there are too many of these "straws" that can be avoided.

03

Marriage is not easy, and cherish

here are 9 ways to avoid "the last straw of marriage". I hope it will be helpful to your marriage.

1 give your partner free time and space. A good relationship between husband and wife is that the hearts of two people are closely connected, rather than possession and oppression. If one side pushes each other tightly, the other side will only deliberately avoid it.

2 Marriage is two people living, not a game, no one wins and who loses, two people cut off a little personality and characteristics in order to build a complete family. Marriage is 0.5-0.5-1, not 1-1-1-2.

3 Let bygones be bygones less, complain too much, no matter how good temper will be worn out, the past will have to let goIt used to be, even if you think you are too aggrieved, but people always have to look forward, while looking back on the road, will only drag the family black and blue.

4 the essence of marriage is to give. Couples who care too much about giving will not be happy. Everything should be calculated clearly. Over a long period of time, people will feel tired.

5 manage your temper, especially in front of the people closest to you. Every time you yell and let off steam, you push your partner further.

6 if there are problems and contradictions, communicate and solve them in time, and hide and bear to say nothing. No one will know your grievances. When it breaks out one day, you will find that in fact, many things in marriage could have been avoided. Many problems could not have been so serious.

7 treat your partner as a lover, not just a relative. Say more intimate words and bravely express your concern for your partner, such as a good morning in the morning, a phone call when you are on a business trip, and a "I love you" when you are in love, which seem to have no effect, but can enhance the sense of love in your marriage.

8 Don't ignore the minor problems in marriage, even the smallest problems are problems, such as who washes and cooks, who takes the clothes out of the washing machine to dry, who picks up the children, whether to lend money to a friend or not to tell your partner in advance and so on. After marriage, two people are a community of emotions, interests, and responsibilities. If we spread it out, we will not let the marriage be full of time bombs.

9 the most important thing in a long-term marriage is to endure each other, but patience is valuable, and the fundamental purpose is to make the family more harmonious. We need to set a bottom line for ourselves, endless patience is connivance, such as infidelity and domestic violence, only 0 and countless times.

May you meet the one you love all your life, live through the ups and downs, ride the wind and waves, and find the truth of happiness.